How do mosquitos always sneak up on you? It doesn't make sense. What do they have that makes them so much more stealthy than other bugs? It's like they just hover around, land wherever they want, and then stab their needle into any part of the body they want. All of this is done undetected. In fact, most people don't know about it until they notice all the scratching. I guess mosquitos are a lot more like drug-addicts than any of us suspected.
I'm just really cheesed about this because somehow yesterday, a mosquito managed to bite me right between my eyes. How could that happen? The only way I could see that happening is if the mosquito somehow landed below my chin out of my sight, then proceeded to crawl up my chin the my mouth. Then it would have had to wait until I said a word with a "p" or "b" sound in it to jump over my mouth when the chasm is at its smallest. After having done this, it must've climbed up one of my nostrils while dodging the countless perilous nose hairs. Then, finally, it must've bitten right between my eyes from the inside of my face. Having accomplished its goal, it then found a nice soft place in my brain and died there.
The bite actually fits in pretty well with my progressively more omelet-like complexion. What a considerate mosquito to choose someone with already declining physical features instead of someone with moderate to fair complexion with an equally strong self-esteem. Actually my own self-esteem probably fits somewhere between moderate and fair. However, my mosquito-esteem is definitely somewhere around poor to needs improvement.
I wasn't always so hostile toward mosquitos and animal life in general. In fact, one of my favorite pastimes was to sit scratching for hours and eventually scratch myself to sleep. It was so simple then. But then I found out that scratching leads to bleeding, and scabs, and scars, and finally death. Well, probably not that last one, but society has been coming up with all sorts of crazy causes for death. What's another unresearched, unproven medical FACT?
I know it's kind of a round about way of saying it, but what I'm really trying to tell you is that I hate the letters "p" and "b." Oddly enough, I adore the letter "j" despite its common association with them.