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Saturday, July 30, 2005

I need to use the restroom. No you don't. Okay.

Well, if everyone must know, yes, last night I got hypnotized. And yes, I did several things of which I am not proud.

I had been invited to go to Johnny B's that night in hopes for being entertained but mostly just for something to pass the time. Then yadda yadda yadda I found myself in front of everyone, sticking my butt out and drumming enthusiastically to the beat of Wipeout.

When we first arrived, me, manders, boo, and phil were sitting on the back row. I had the courage to volunteer to be hypnotised, but this was only under the assumption that at least one of those three was going to join me. The time came for people to come down to be hypnotised and I walked/jogged down to take a seat with all the other enthused fools. of course, no one else from our party had followed me down. Those ten or so strangers and myself had just begun an experience we would not soon forget. Or would we?

The hynotist started out by having us close our eyes and hold our hands out and imagine that each hand was a magnet attracted to the other. Soon our fingers were interlocked quickly growing more and more stuck to eachother. Then, the guy said that very powerful glue was being poured over our hands. The more we pulled, the more stuck they got. As the glue dried, I tried to bite the glue off but to no avail. We were then told that our hands in fact were not stuck together. how stupid of me I thought as I easily pulled my hands apart.

We were then systematically put to sleep one by one. As I went to sleep, I fell over into the red-headed guy's lap who was sitting next to me. This relationship would not be short-lived. His nervous breathing was very soothing, and soon I found my face becoming more and more buried in this guys lap as instructions were given to us by the hypnotist. He woke us up. At this point, he told us that one of our index fingers would stick to any part of our body unless the other index finger is stuck to our body somewhere else. I found this mildly amusing. Kirtley Jackman (hypnotised person #8) had somehow stuck his two index fingers together. As this happened, a guy next to me leaned over to me and said completely seriously, "He's screwed." We were then told that our fingers would not stick to our bodies about the same time as we realised our fingers would not stick to our bodies.

At a later time, I was the only one put to sleep and I was given instructions that whenever the hypnotist said the word "shave" I was to ask him for a bandaid because I had just cut myself shaving. I woke up and saw that I was missing one of my sandals that I thought I had been wearing. The man went on talking and soon said the word. I got up and asked him for a bandaid. He gave me one and I put it on the right side of my face. He soon said the word again. This time when he gave me a bandaid, I thought I'd reveal the smooth unhairy skin of my chest. I lifted up my shirt and put the bandaid near my left nipple. Everyone laughed, but I didn't think it was that funny.

Later, we found ourselves hugging the audience after a rousing chorus of "I Love You" at the end of Barney's show. We then felt a powerful impulse to hug everyone in the audience. I quickly scanned for any good looking girls in the audience. I was only four years old at the time, but I matured quickly. I then found myself back to normal and for some reason I was hugging the same guy whose lap I had earlier used as a pillow. Very awkward. Of course, when we sat back down, he switched seats and I felt very alone and rejected. But this feeling did not last. For as another person was put to sleep, a girl came running across and took one of that person's shoes. This was the one who had taken my sandal! I ran to where she had just sat down and demanded it back. She denied everything. I kept demanding it back until finally the hypnotist asked if I actually saw her take it. I begrudgingly said no and sat back down. The hypnotist then asked the thief if she had taken my sandal. But this time, her chair was equipped with a lie detector that would shock her if she lied and increased in power by three times each time she lied. Ha ha, revenge at last! I snatched away my sandal from her hand as she looked at me with tear-filled eyes.

The last part I'll mention is the infamous bum drumming. Everyone was put to sleep and told that we were all in the world-famous bum drumming group and we were about to go on stage for a concert. We woke up and were presented to the crowd as the song Wipeout began to play. I jumped up, turned around, bent over, and began slapping my own drum with great vigor (we were told that it was forbidden to play anyone else's drum). I drummed double time with my left hand on my left cheek. With my right hand on my right cheek I hit right on the beat as hard as I could. As I was doing this, I was trying to swing my hips to the beat as well, just to spice things up a little. And spice things up it did. The crowd was going wild to our expert drumming and we couldn't have been more pleased. The music faded out and we returned to our seats. I gave a guy a high five before I sat back down. Probably the best and most serious high five I've ever given anyone.

"That was fun," said the girl next to me.

"It was a good show," I replied.

A good show, indeed.

8 comments:

b. robertson said...

Amazing.

Manders said...

Haha, that was the funniest thing I've ever seen... I can't wait to see it on vhs many many times.

Eric Petersen said...

Cool. I've been to show where a guy hypnotized most of the audience. He had everyone stick there hands together, and those whol couldn't get there hands undone came to the front, from there he seperated maybe half of the audience to about 20, and those 20 were the show for the night. Ahu good stuff, why didn't I get hypnotized that night?

The Amazing Spider-Fan said...

VHS? Sweet! Manders, I want in on some of that black mail.

b. robertson said...

I thought you were getting a DVD of it. Can you get it before the 25th, so that I can see it? And also, I need more of those Salt Lake Tribune pens. Mine ran out last week, and I need more!

Lorien said...

Beautiful.

The Stunningly Handsome Nate Perkins said...

This one time I was hypnotized and when I came to I was in a hot-tub with Dilbert creator Scott Adams. It was akward.

Andrea said...

holy crap mat6t!!! i did the same thing the day i got baptized!! i still havent seen the dvd of it but i was told it was hilarious! we need to watch yours!! AWESOME !