Now Family-Friendly!

Monday, July 25, 2005

Mainstream USA, that's all I want to say.

Right now, I can hear my mom and dad watching Gettysburg, and my dad is explaining the tactics of a battle in the movie. I know my mom is not interested at all. I can't see her facial expression or even hear what she's saying, but she's never been interested in war movies ever. I have no idea why she's watching it. But I guess I can't say anything because several times I've found myself watching a show and I keep think over and over to myself how infuriatingly stupid the show is, but I just keep watching. I once watched an hour of Teletubbies just to find out which one is which.

Tinky Winky=upside down triangle head.
Dipsy=straight line head.
Laa Laa=looped head.
Po=circle head.

It really took that long to figure it out. It's such a weird show. I didn't really know what was going on, but it seemed bad because they kept saying "uh oh" and then they'd go and worship some paper windmill idol.

I always find it awkward to watch t.v. with my parents, or anyone really, but mostly my parents. It's like they're judging you on the shows you watch. I hate that. It would be like I'm watching a perfectly fine, if somewhat mediocre, movie on t.v., and as soon as one of my parents walks in, there is a swear word or some kind of sexual innuendo. It's not like those things bother me to the point of changing the channel, but I don't know if it bothers my parents, or if it bothers them that it doesn't bother me. And that bothers me.

So, if given a choice, would anyone out there choose to watch a movie in standard rather than widescreen? Of course, no one would. I am a strong widescreen supporter myself, but I really don't think it's that much of a difference. On some dvd's where they give you an option, it shows what the picture would look like in standard compared to widescreen. Everyone at this point seems to get very irritated that standard is missing part of the shot on the left and right sides. Big deal. So you wouldn't be able to see some unimportant extra standing there looking out of place. Like you would be looking there anyway.

I admit that with the complicated plots and subplots going on in the movies of today, one might feel that they have to study the entire screen at all times in fear that they might miss something and be lost for the rest of the movie. I know, for this has happened to me on several occasions. The trick to overcoming this is to memorize one short segment of the movie. Then when you're talking about the movie later with someone and they mention some part you missed or didn't understand, you can just respond saying, "Yeah, but do you remember..." and then explain in terrific detail the aforementioned scene. They'll be very impressed of your knowledge of the film and/or feel inadequate and inferior in your presence. Either way, you're not fit to be discussing movies anyway if you can't even remember the plot of the dull glib drivel of today's movies.

In conclusion, I like Tinky Winky the best, with Po coming in a close second.

15 comments:

The Amazing Spider-Fan said...

My sister and I have a bet going on whether Po is a boy or girl. I don’t remember who is pro-guy and who’s pro-girl, but I do know that Dipsy is dead weight and Po is willing to do what it takes to move up in the Tele-Caste system.

Rivers is my hero said...

Po has to be a girl, otherwise how would they reproduce?

The Amazing Spider-Fan said...

Do you ever see any Telle-kids?

Eric Petersen said...

Arn't all the Telletubies some form of alien that is created by the imagination of a moron? I created PO!

b. robertson said...

"Tinky winky! Dipsy! La La! Po! Teletubbies! Teletubbies! Say....He...lloooo!" I have seen every single episode, I swear! I took care of 4 of my nieces and nephews for 2 months in Arizona, and what do you think their favorite show was? You got it! Teletubbies. I know that show all too well.

Rivers is my hero said...

What's with the sun having a kid's face in it? Is that what the Teletubies worship?

La-La: "Check it out Tinkie-Winkie, Here comes the Sun!"

Tinkie-Winkie: "Hey, that sounds like a good song tittle."

La-La: "Yeah, a gay song tittle, purse-boy!"

Tinkie-Winkie: "We've been over this, It's European!"

La-La: "Sure it is, I think that you're a little VROOOOMM! (makes vacumm noises while pretending to vacumm.)

Seinfeld anyone?

The Amazing Spider-Fan said...

But the vacuum doesn’t make that noise in Tubby land. It makes a slurpyier one.

Rivers is my hero said...

Noo-noo! What's there to clean up anyway?

The Amazing Spider-Fan said...

Earth to Luke: Tubby Custurd.

Kactiguy said...

Is that like po poo?

poof said...

let's see... po and lala are girls. the rest are gays...

b. robertson said...

Not to break from the topic, but I heard that Mat6t has a hard time shaving and seems to have to ask people for band-aids quite frequently. Watch out! Johnny said it was a close shave!

Marlsven said...

hey! what?! how did you hear about that?

still working on that...but until I find one, guess I'm somewhat of a peeping Tina... said...

To answer your first question. I know why your mom was watching Gettysburg. She was "studying" for her book club (for which she also read a book on the subject of Gettysburg). So she probably was interested in the movie...this time.

In case I'm scaring you...that I really am a crazy psycho stalker who knows way too much about your family...I'm not (well, not a psycho stalker anyway). I'm just in your mom's book club.

About the Tele-tubbies, apparently they are created to appeal to the attention span of a two-year old, so they are a little beyond me, but I just want to know where what's-his-tubbie buys his handbags.

P.S. MAT6T Do you know who currently hold the position of the United States' secretary of state? I'll give you a hint, it's not Tinky Winky, but she did attend your brother's wedding reception...

Marlsven said...

Why, Condoleeza Rice of course. And you should know that I only had to google "U.S. Secretary of State" to find out how to spell it correctly.

hmmm, I sense there are some clues as to your identity. Knows about Cawnduhleisa Reyese at my brother's wedding. Probably has kids who watch the teletubbies. in my mom's bookclub. But don't worry, I haven't the heart to reveal who you really are. A timid heart should only reveal itself of its own volition.