I have a chicken mcnuggets poster on my wall. This poster means a lot to me, and as I'm looking at it, I'm trying to figure out why. Maybe because it's probably the biggest thing I've ever stolen, (the second biggest being a king size Twix from my mom's closet) but seeing as I took it from a Mcdonald's dumpster, I don't think that really counts. About fifty years from now, if they still exist and I'm not completely blind, I'll see my senior pictures and wonder why my personality picture features these cancer-causing turds. In any case, there will remain a warm, soft place in my weak heart for those tasty mcnuggets. Probably near the left ventricle.
Have you guys seen those pseudo-satirical commercials that are all like, "Where are the nuggets on a chicken?"? I know you have. I admit that I chuckled a bit when I first saw that commercial. Well, I don't really chuckle, but as my face remained in permagrimace, I thought to myself that this was a pretty original idea for a commercial. But now that I think about it, the commercial is just stupid and painfully un-thoughtout. I mean, what if competitors used that same strategy for other types of products. Like, "hmmmm, I can't seem to find where the quarter pounder is on this cow. It must be an overprocessed piece of filth." Of course, it probably is an overprocessed piece of filth, but that's beside the point. Under their logic, all food must be presented to the consumer as much in its original form as to allow an immediate recognition of the actual expression the meal had on its face when it died. I don't want to know anything about the pain the animal went through for me to eat, I just want to enjoy my meal. And I don't think I'm the only one.
I say that as long as a food has a recognizeable shape, then it is acceptable. And the chicken mcnugget is no exception. Generally, there are two types of chicken mcnugget. There's the lumpy oval, and of course the boot. The boot is advantageous in a few ways. One of which is that the toe of the boot allows for a minimum-sized handle as you dip the nugget into the river of sweet and sour. The heel of the nugget is also acceptable for this but there are some disadvantages. Another advantage of the boot shape is when there is only a tiny amount of sauce left in the corner of the package. You just stick the toe of the nugget in there and it can usually wipe it clean. Of course, both of these techniques cannot be employed at the same time. But that's the beauty of it all. A ten-nugget order allows for at least 1024 different combinations, and that's just boot-shapers. Don't get me started on the oval ones or the not uncommon "mutant nuggets."
The permutations are practically endless.